Wizarding Shock
by Jhacas and Friends
Summary: Draco suffers from shock, and has to stay in a house with Hermione for 3 months!
1. Chapter 1

"Farmers Union. The Champion Cheese." Draco gave a big sigh, as he realised that his job promoting cheese was over for the day.

He hated this job but it was better than selling potions ingredients to mudbloods at Diagon alley. He used to work at the apothecary, but then a certain mudblood named Hermione "the know-it-all Gryffindor" Granger had come in wanting boomslang skin and he quit on the spot.

Then after his father disowned him, he had to get work at the nearest offer. And so here he was, selling _cheese _to old men who he was sure were looking at his in a pervy way.

He packed his bag and went home - a house who he shared with Blaise Zabini in a friendly way – only a friendly way. He told everyone this, but they never believed him. Stupid people.

Blaise was waiting for him at the door with an apron on.

"Welcome home, honey." Blaise remarked sarcastically.

"Oh darling! You are so hot right now," drawled Draco.

"We have to move to Australia." Blaise announced. "You see, the Ministry is kicking us out of our house because _someone _forgot to pay his bills, choosing instead to buy a ... what was it again?"

"A Lightningbolt. It's the fastest broom in the world." Draco mumbled.

"That's right" Blaise said. Draco slumped to the ground in despair.

"I don't want to go to Australia. There are scary things there. Like, ugh, sheep!" Blaise lifted an eyebrow.

"Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you went out on a shopping spree, hmm?" At that exact moment they heard a knock at the door. knock knock

"Oh no! It's the killer bees! They are going to spell me to death!" Blaise looked at Draco funny, and then opened the door.

"Oh my God! It's Granger" Draco said.

"Oh my God! It's the ferret." Said Hermione.

Blaise, feeling left out, said "Oh my god. What do you want, mudblood?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and barged straight past both of them. "_I _am looking into buying this house. I didn't know that _you _were the ones selling it."

"We didn't know you were the one buying it!" said Draco. He instantly fainted from saying such a dodgy comeback. Hermione raised her eyebrows and looked at Blaise.

"He seems to have become more... um... well... _strange _since school, don't you think?"

Blaise smirked. "Well, considering that school was 3 months ago, he's not that different."

Hermione called a mediwizard and he came along to give a diagnosis. The wizard said that he was suffering shock and needed to stay in the house for the next three weeks.

Blaise sighed. "Well, at least he won't have to go to Australia."

Hermione looked at him in shock. "AUSTRALIA? Why do you have to go to _Australia?_"

Blaise grinned. "Well, it's really all because of Draco. He forgot to pay the bills."

Hermione laughed. "Draco, the pureblood with the most money in the entire wizarding world, _forgot _to pay his bills?"

"Technically I didn't _forget._.._" _said Draco" I simply didn't pay them."

Hermione looked at him. "I thought you were still unconscious. Damn."

Draco sneered at her. "Malfoys are the best at recovery."

"So they are all female then..." said Hermione. She and Blaise chuckled and Draco just looked confused.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Hey! I would just like to thank all our reviewers – We never though we would get so many! So thank you to Iceblinkwolf, Sam's Firefly, HRInuyashaFan16, Queen of Serpents, AnonReader, and Kazuli! This chapter is really short because we didn't have much time in writing it, but we will have more chapters tomorrow! Sorry about all the confusion with the loading - I stuffed up! Oops..._

"Good look for you there, Malfoy!" Hermione smirked. "You should do that more often."

Draco glared at her. "Shut up, mudblood."

Hermione sighed. "Oh, how primitive!"

Blaise looked up at the sky and saw a small blot coming towards them. As it got closer he realised it was his mothers owl.

"What on earth does my _mother _want? She hasn't written to me since Christmas last year." Blaise muttered.

Hermione frowned. She always felt that family should stay in contact at least once a week.

Blaise grabbed the letter as it dropped form the owls grasp. He started to look a little frantic and then he went pale white.

"Father has fallen deathly ill and I am being summoned home immediately. I was planning to stay and enjoy the fun ... but anyway. Toodlee- oo lovebirds."

He apparated and left a chilling scene behind him.

"_Lovebirds?_" Hermione screamed.

Suddenly a dark figure appeared behind Hermione. The figure reached out and put a hand on Hermione's shoulder. She shrieked and turned around.

"Oh, it's just the salesman. Don't panic, Draco."

The stranger introduced himself to Draco.

"Hello young sir, I am Mr Anderson."

Hermione giggled. "Sorry sir, I really don't mean to laugh but your name reminds me of a muggle movie."

Mr Anderson smiled. "That's ok, young miss. I have come with good news. Your parents have just paid for this house, as a graduation present, so now this house is all yours!"

Hermione paled. "Oh, no. No, no, no."

Draco was sitting on the floor, his head in his hands.

"Well, I suppose I will have to move in then," sighed Hermione.

She started to go to the floo to bring all of her stuff to the new Malfoy-Granger Household.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: We would just like to thank all our reviewers! So thanks to Kazuli, Sam's Firefly, Queen of Serpents, Odi et amo, daiquiri, Iceblinkwolf, HRInuyashaFan16, and AnonReader! _

Draco stopped her. "What did you say? I think I heard you say that you will have to move in! I don't think so..."

Hermione looked at him. "Well, as much as I _despise _the idea of moving in, I have to."

Draco looked confused. "Why?"

Hermione looked at him with derision. "If you are studying at the Ministry of Magic to be a Head of department, you need a permanent place of residence and I have already sold my other house."

Draco looked at her, and then burst out laughing. "You think that you - the know it all _mudblood -_will be a head of department? What department - the Be Kind to All Magical Creatures Especially House Elves Department?"

Hermione blushed. "Don't be stupid, Malfoy. I am going for the Muggle Relations department."

Draco thought for a minute. "I guess that makes sense... at least then we purebloods don't have to mingle with the muggles."

"Actually Draco, because you will be staying under my roof, I think that you should really try to help me out, by just leaving me alone."

At that exact moment, a little note popped out of thin air.

_Miss Granger, _

_Please make sure that Mr Malfoy recovers from his shock by providing for him and making sure that he does not have to do anything strenuous. _

_This may be a way for you to show your caring for others and get a leg up into muggle relations. _

_S__incerely _

_Michelle Parsons, Acting Minister for Magic. _

Hermione closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

"What? What does it say?" Draco asked.

Hermione opened her eyes and glared at him. "It says, _Malfoy, _that I have to take care of you until you get better."

Draco smirked. "Well, well, well. It seems like I have my very own little slave to..."

Hermione interrupted him. "Do you really want to finish that sentence?"

Draco gave a slight smirk. "Here's the way I see it, Granger. I want someone to do my bidding; you need to do my bidding to get into your dream job. Apart from your unfortunate heritage, it's a match made in heaven."

Hermione just glared at him.

"Oh, come on now, Granger. You should be grateful that you are in such close presence of a god like myself."

Hermione laughed. "A god, Malfoy? A god? What of? Hair wax?"

Malfoy summoned a piece of parchment and his Quick Quotes Quill to him and began to dictate.

'Dear Madam Parsons. I, Draco Malfoy, believe that Hermione Granger would be unsuitable for the position…"

"Ok, ok, Malfoy. I'll do whatever you want... just don't send that letter."

Draco smirked. "_Whatever _I want? Well, that's certainly a generous offer, Granger."

Hermione glared at him.

Draco scrunched up the parchment and disposed of it with a quick wave of his wand.

Draco looked back at Hermione. "I think we are going to have to make some changes to that outfit of yours. It's a bit too... what's the word? Oh yes, _muggle._"

Hermione rolled her eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Sorry guys! I know we haven't updated for like, a year! So, um, sorry. Anyway, here is the next chapter! _

_**Disclaimer: **__If anyone thinks that we own Harry Potter, they have serious mental issues. This is just for our own amusement, and boy are we amused. No profit (apart from amusement) is being made from this. So, yeah. JKR owns all this. As a wise person once said (I think I heard it on Mugglecast) "I am just playing in JKR's sandbox" _

Draco smirked. He was going to have a _lot _of fun with this.

"Granger!" he yelled. Hermione shrieked.

"I'm standing right next to you, you arrogant prick!" She slapped him over the back of the head – a move that was well practised thanks to Harry and Ron.

Draco grasped the back of his head with both hands.

"Ow! You..." he started to yell. Then he smirked and pretended to be in deep thought. "Hmm... violent, aggressive, easy to anger, all great traits of a Muggle Relations Head of Department, don't you think? I think Madam Parsons would agree as well. Should we send a note?"

Hermione opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She turned a deep shade of crimson. "Malfoy, please. I need this job – it is what I have been aspiring for all these years. From the moment I learnt I was a witch, and saw the uncomfortable way that my family acted, I wanted to help other families like that. I..."

"Blah, blah, blah. Jeez, Granger, don't you ever shut up. This is what you are doing." He mimed a mouth opening and closing with his hand. "This is what I want you to do." He kept his mouth-hand in the shut position.

Hermione rolled her eyes and stormed inside to make herself a cup of hot chocolate.

After she had made her hot chocolate, (the old-fashioned way, on a stove), she turned around to find Draco lying on the couch. He was lying in a most unconventional way, with his feet on the couch and his head on the floor. He had pink, fluffy socks on. Hermione couldn't stop her giggles, and they erupted into a full-blown hysterical on-the-floor-crying-fit.

"Malfoy, what _are_ you doing?" Hermione laughed. "You're such a tosser. No wonder everyone thought you were in love with Harry."

With that Draco jumped up from the couch and slapped her. She felt her cheek in shock. Wizarding shock.

Draco smirked maliciously. "Now you know how I felt in third year. Hurts, doesn't it?"

Hermione looked up through tear-filled eyes and then smirked, "Not as much as your face."

Draco looked taken back for a minute then returned the smirk. "Ah, Granger. You know you love me."

Hermione looked confused for a moment then looked disgusted. "Ew... ew... ew!" She ran to the nearest sink and filled it up with water. She then dunked her head in it.

Draco blinked. Mudbloods were _strange. _

After drying her face with a towel, Hermione decided to take a tour of the house to see what her parents had bought for her. She opened the door to the bathroom and fainted.

When she woke back up, she realised what she had seen. The bathroom was bright pink! And to top it off, it was Draco's bathroom. She could tell this by the masses of pictures of Draco adorning the mirror frame, and what a what a huge mirror it was. At the top of this mirror, there was a small sentence in cursive. It said, _To Draco, You are so perfect. Love Draco. _

She couldn't help it. She cracked up laughing.

Draco stormed in, looking the picture of innocence. "What is so funny, you overgrown beaver?"

Hermione looked at him quizzically "Why do you have a pink bathroom?" Draco could barely hear her between the laughter but understood the gist of what she was asking. He turned red, well, as red as a _sophisticated _pureblood could turn.

"It's not pink... it's... it's...mauve! Yes, mauve. A very _manly _colour indeed." Draco said, with his face the same colour as the bathroom. "Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go and floo my mother."

Hermione's laughter followed him all the way down the stairs.

After her shocking day Hermione decided that what she needed was some relaxation. And what better way to relax than by having a bath in the utterly hilarious _'mauve' _bathroom. She ran to her room and grabbed her lavender bath salts and then magicked up a luxurious bath.

After a long, relaxing bath, in which she often inhaled some water from laughing whenever she saw the large mirror, she got out. Before she had gotten in, she put her clothes down the laundry chute which was obvious from the large _Laundry _in glowing letters and a giant flashing arrow. She looked around for a towel, but saw none. She figured that it was just _'mauve' _and blended in with the walls. But no. No matter how hard she looked, there was no towel.

Starting to panic she looked around for her wand." Ok Hermione, think where did you last have it," The slap she gave herself when she realised that it was in the pocket of her jean, rivalled the slap she gave Malfoy in third year.

Great. Now she was stuck in a _'mauve' _bathroom, completely naked, with a red hand mark on her leg. Now what? She considered calling Malfoy... no. That idea was rejected in less than a second. The pure _humiliation_ she would suffer doesn't even bear thinking about. She thought to herself "Ok. Now, you are a bright witch, what can you do in this situation?" Her mind came up blank. "Come on, you have read like a million books! There must be something in there that can help!" Then something clicked in her brain. She had an idea...


End file.
